The Science of Magnetic Attractions in Roommates

Today is Wednesday.... which is basically the busiest day of my entire life each and every week. I wake up at 8:30 to get ready for New Testament at 9, then Book of Mormon at 10, then I come home for an hour and eat so I can leave for Physical Science at 12, then go to work from 1-3:45, then a Physical Science lab from 4-5, then I eat from 5-5:50 to head back to work from 6:00 until close... then I come home.. and do homework or ya know.. maybe put away my laundry that's been sitting in a cart in the hallway for like two days now... probably not... whatever. But seriously. Exhausting. Every Wednesday I come home dead and it makes me so envious of people who don't have to work while going to school. But hey I'm getting more life experience right? ... right? yeah? Someone please tell me that's a thing because I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this....

But anyways. I have these two roommates named Kelsi and Michaela. Here's all three of us looking out the window at random people who are unlucky enough to pass by. Totally normal.

This is Kelsi so kindly allowing me to sleep on her one Sunday before we went to dinner at some boys' apartment. (They made us spaghetti and one of them played the accordion. yeah be jealous)

And here's Michaela and I... and this kid named Hunter but ignore him he doesn't have to do with the story at all. 

So anyways... Michaela and I have been friends since our freshman year of high school and Kelsi is Michaela's roommate in our dorm. Michaela and I are really weird and fortunately so is Kelsi. We all get along very well and we've discovered that there's this magnetic attraction between the three of us. If any of us are in a room together there is a 99.9% there will be nothing done in that room. Well, nothing productive that is. We come up with a lot of weird songs and theories and things, but nothing like homework ever gets done. Like at all. 

So, this magnetic force I was talking about.. basically, if we're in a room together, I can't leave. It doesn't matter that I know that it's three in the morning and I have to wake up for a 9 a.m. tomorrow, or that they're trying to read scriptures or do something productive with their lives like, I don't know, sleep for once... I cannot leave. At all. We just sit there and talk about who knows what. Yesterday it got so bad that Michaela had to drag me out of Kelsi's bed kicking and screaming, and then I still didn't even leave the room. I just laid on the floor and kept talking. I'm surprised that they haven't murdered me in my sleep by now (because let's be honest I'd just sleep through it). I think they keep me around for my butt. That was actually the topic of last night's discussion. 

In fact I think the exact quote was, "Tanisha's butt looks ridiculous in those pants... and by ridiculous I mean ridiculously hott!" 

Well... who would've known!! I guess I'll never wear those pants again, and if I continue to stay in their room until 3 a.m. I guess I'll never get any homework done either. And then I won't have to worry about going to school and working and crazy Wednesdays because I'll have failed out of college. That escalated quickly.... Anyways... after serious research I've developed a formula that accounts for the magnetic attraction. The variable K being Kelsi, M being Michaela, T being Tanisha, and h being the number of hours spent together with variable N being productivity.

(KMT)h=-n

Yeah I don't get it either. No matter what numbers you use the productivity always turns out to be in the negative. Crazy science.

But here's my advice: if you ever have a roommate (or even worse 2) that you love with all your heart and you just can't leave the room when they're around... RUN. RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION. LOCK YOURSELF IN THE CLOSET AND PUT IN HEADPHONES AND GET. YOUR. STUFF. DONE. Don't be me. Don't fail out of college. Listen to the equations. You're better than this and you can succeed! Who needs friends anyways?