Las Vegans in the Snow: "My car is frozen to the ground!"

+Michaela Huntsman and I are from sunny Las Vegas, Nevada. To sum up the experience we've previously had with snow, It snowed about a quarter of an inch one year and schools were closed the next day. The snow was all gone by 7 a.m. So, winter time in Provo has been an adventure to say the least.

The first time that the snow stuck to the ground, there were a lot of questions and exclamations of wonderment like "What do you even wear on your feet?!" "How long is this supposed to last?" "It must take a lot of little fluffy white things falling from the sky to make this much stuff on the ground" "Snow falls in actual snow flakes! Did you know that?! I just thought when snow fell it was in like these little puffy balls and when you got a microscope those were the crystal formations! Look at this! Snow flakes!!!"

We made a lot of new discoveries too... like when snow melts in your shoes, you're going to be miserable guaranteed, and you have to kick the snow off of your shoes BEFORE you go inside or else everything in your apartment gets wet, and when enough people walk on the snow that's just fallen, it becomes ice! Woah! Crazy right? I know! So, we spent the first two weeks walking like baby deer who had just learned to stand... slipping and falling and using our curse words like "gosh hang it!" and embarrassing ourselves..... all the time (like that's new). It seems the more we embarrassed ourselves, the more the people around us found us fantastically entertaining. I guess that's cool or whatever... 

Aww... look at us playing in the snow for the first time.

Yeah. You can sure as heck bet that this happy little party didn't last long.

 Most of the time it was more like this. Disgust... while Kelsi's just plain happy for no reason as usual.

So, about two or three weeks pass and Michaela decides it's time to move her car for the first time since the snow came, and I decide that I'm going to go help her.

Now Michaela doesn't have a snow scraper. In fact, she didn't even know what one was before she came to Provo. 

"Hey what's that guy using on is car over there?"

"Are you kidding me? That's a snow scraper! You don't know what a snow scraper is!"

Um... Hello?! We don't even know what snow is!!! We're from Vegas. People just don't get that I guess.

So anyways, we found some rubber spatulas and went out to remove the foot of snow from the top of her car. So we spend close to 30 minutes scraping snow off the hood, then the windshield, and then the top with those stupid little rubber spatulas that were like three inches long! And yes.. we did it in the wrong order. Maybe if we had started from the top of the car... and then moved to the bottom it wouldn't have taken so much time! Whatever... and just maybe if we had sucked it up and used our stinkin' arms instead of those spatulas, we would've gotten more off at a time. But hey, hindsight is 20/20 right?

So finally.. finally we get all the snow off of her car and the windshield has defrosted and the windshield wipers are no longer frozen to the glass. Then she puts the car in reverse, and we don't go anywhere. Immediately the panic sets in. Like oh crap.. what's going on?! Then Michaela says it...

"Tanisha I think my car is frozen to the ground"

Oh crap oh crap oh crap. I mean... it makes sense. My TA the other day told us that his car was frozen to the ground and he wouldn't be able to use it until spring (I realize upon further reflection that he was probably joking about this and maybe I shouldn't take everything people say so literally). So then I go outside to take a look. As she tries to accelerate backwards the tires stay in place. That must be it. She's frozen to the ground. So I come up with a solution as fast I can.... Canadians!!! Some of our friends are from Canada. They clearly know more about situations like this than we do. So, we run to enlist their help. 

We get up to their apartment and Connor (one of the Canadians), Derek, and their roommate Osvaldo agree to help us out. So they put on gloves and jackets and come outside to help us out. Meanwhile I'm just thinking about how hilarious this situation is because let's be real. Who else would this happen to but us? The snow-stupid girls from Las Vegas!  We arrive at the car and Connor says he wants to get in to see what's going on. So, he turns on the car... and turns off the emergency break. The emergency break!!! You've got to be joking!! I mean... I figured that it's only common sense to take off your emergency break so I didn't even consider that would be an issue. 

I look at Michaela and she's stunned. She can't even talk. It's all coming out like "But I always... the emergency break.... I don't... I always put it down... I can't". We say thanks for the help through their laughter at us, and get in the car to begin the drive of shame. I thought that it was absolutely hilarious. Michaela... not so much. She was embarrassed beyond belief. We figured out what happened though, and for the sake of Michaela's dignity I shall explain.

When Michaela starts her car, she puts down her parking break immediately. That day, when we got in the car, it was to turn it on and defrost the windows while we worked.. not to drive away. So, she didn't put down the parking break. Then, after working for thirty minutes in the cold, we got in the car to drive away and her instincts told her that she would've put down the parking break when she first turned the car on because she always does that.....

Anyways, she didn't. Should've checked that out before we jumped to some ridiculous conclusion. I'm just grateful we had some good friends around to help us out ya know? And I don't think they'll hold it over our heads for too long.

.....Forever isn't that long... right?

The Library Occurrences of Finals Week

Finals, as I've discovered for the first time, do really weird things to you. Suddenly all you're capable of doing is studying, or eating, or sleeping and as Kelsi put it "It's like I can care about studying or I can care about people. And right now I just can't care about people." So our social lives have consisted of us studying in close proximity to our friends.

That way it feels like we are having social interaction, but really we're all just sitting in silence staring at computer screens until someone just can't take it anymore and half of the group breaks into conversation that has absolutely no meaning or relevance because our brains are fried... then after about five to ten minutes, studying resumes. And since we study at the library and it's open until two in the morning for finals, times have gotten pretty interesting. Here's a good example of one of our meaningless conversations. I'd told Michaela to listen to the band A Silent Film because I thought she'd like them. During the middle of studying, we both look up at each other and (as I heard it) it went a lot like this. 

Michaela: "Highlight the blonde"

Me: "what? Highlight the blonde?"

Michaela: "No I like them a lot"

Me:" Oh... oh yeah okay."

*Kelsi from a couple seats down*

Kelsi: (from a couple seats down)"I'm ready to go"

Me: "Oh you wanna go home?"

Kelsi: "No I want a potato"

Me (thinking I'd heard her wrong once again): What??

Kelsi: "Yeah I want a potato."

And then we just kept studying....

A few hours later for no apparent reason

Kelsi:  I'm just so excited to eat a potato I don't understand! Why am I so excited to eat a potato?!

And now for your entertainment... More stories of the library:

At one point, we were all studying when Derek stands to leave and pulls a random stick of licorice out of his bag and throws it at Connor, then grabs another one and throws it at Michaela... and then me, then Kelsi, then Jordan. Keep in mind that this library is like dead silent, and food technically (okay not technically but still) isn't allowed, and this conversation is not happening quietly...

Then Michaela throws the licorice back at Derek and says "Derek! I don't like licorice!"

So in outrage, he throws it back at her, and a split second later he's followed by Jordan who throws his at her too, then Connor, and then I jumped on the band-wagon and threw mine at her too. So Michaela takes one and throws it on the ground (which is apparently an insult to Derek's love) because he says "Why don't you just stomp on it too!" So she does... and then puts it back on the table.

This is all not that big of a deal until their other roommate Monty comes up hours later and sees the licorice on the table. He grabbed one and I was like "Yeah have at it! We aren't eating them". So he grabs one and as he walks away and takes a bite, Michaela turns to me and says. 

"That was the one I stepped on."

... Sorry Monty...

________________________

Sometimes you'll look up from your studying and everybody is just staring at each other. So you join the party and begin to stare at everyone, and after a few minutes of silent stares, you just go back to your studying as if nothing happened at all.

________________________

Earlier today two random people got up across the library and start grapevining towards each other while a third person recorded it... only to collide straight in the middle and fall over, laughing hysterically. I would've been mad, but hey. It was like midnight. We all need a break.

________________________

Kelsi was awake for FOREVER one day and then we decided to stay at the library until 2 a.m., and this voice comes over the intercom at 1:30 to announce that it's getting close to closing and as 1:30 approaches, Kelsi just starts flipping out. She was panicking because she didn't want to be startled by the voice so she crawled on the floor in the fetal position and I was trying to comfort her and instead it turned into this huge scene where everyone was staring at us and Kelsi was on the floor saying "Stop looking at me! I don't like it when you look at me! I can't control myself! I have no control!" One guy in particular found it very amusing. I think most of us would've normally been embarrassed... but it was 1:30 in the morning

________________________

Michaela hands me a box of wheat thins and says "Be quiet" because food isn't allowed in the library.

I reach my hand inside as carefully as I can (which is still the sound equivalent of an army of 500 men crumpling up large sheets of printer paper while talking heatedly about last night's football game or politics or whatever men talk about), and I just can't seem to grab a dang wheat thin. So the army continues to crumple for a good two minutes as Michaela shoots me dirty looks above her laptop... until I finally grab one and remove my hand (even more noisily) out of the box. Then I stick it into my mouth. Michaela and I make eye contact and CRUNCH. The chewing itself is almost as loud as the army. But I can't stop now because there's an only partially-chewed wheat thin in my mouth and I have to finish it. So I awkwardly continue chewing while looking around like "what is that noise? Oh my gosh! Who would make that much noise in the library during finals week?" Yea... I don't think I fooled anyone.

________________________

So one time Kelsi and I were whispering at each other from a couple of feet away and Michaela kept nagging us, saying that we were way too loud and that people could hear us. But we just kept talking anyways, and she just kept getting onto us. So finally she says "Oh my gosh! Everyone can hear what you're saying! You're so annoying! Your whisper is like a normal talking voice/"

So, in order to prove her wrong... "Do you want to hear my normal talking voice?!" which said in my normal talking voice sounded a lot like very loud talking in the middle of the silent library. We got some looks... okay a lot of looks. People were definitely angry, but she stopped nagging so it was totally worth it.

________________________

After writing a paper for three hours Kelsi turns to me at one in the morning and says

"I'm starting to lose my academic tone. I'm starting to use words like... heck/"

________________________

There are outlets on EVERYTHING in the library. Everything. I swear. So one time (while studying big surprise there)

Michaela: There are SO many outlets in here. Imagine how many there are in the entire library.

Me: We should plug hair dryers into every single one.

________________________

And sometimes it's 1:30 in the morning and you have Kelsi proofread your blogpost and she has to calm herself down so she doesn't break into hysterical laughter... Thanks Kels. You rock.

________________________

P.S. So this just happened I'm not even joking it was the funniest thing. I finish blogging and Jordan and Connor are like "Hey come over here/"
So I go over there and they have this game up where you're a narwhal in space and you point your horn at things and stab them with it, and they made Kelsi and I fight to the death by stabbing each other in the narwhal hearts.
The End.

How to Upset a Hairstylist 101

Lately I've been feeling like there's been a lot of change in my life, and I think I just decided I needed something to represent that. So I had this crazy dream that I chopped off all my hair and dyed it black. SO I DID IT. I CHOPPED OFF ALL MY HAIR AND DYED IT BLACK.

 Ha. Funny joke right? I ain't cray. But I did decide that maybe I should do something different with my hair. Most of the time I'm really sensible and normal and I don't make rash, crazy decisions... so usually cutting my own hair would've been totally out of the picture. But I think I might've gone a little bat-crap crazy the other day because I just had it in my mind that I needed to give myself bangs. Here's the thing. I got bangs when I was in seventh grade and hated them. I looked deformed. It was not a good look let me tell you, but then I guess I decided that that was now just a fantastic idea. So, as I was unpacking from the Thanksgiving holidays, I just suddenly lost it and walked into Kelsi's room to consult her.

She was doing homework on her floor when I just walked up to her and said

"Hey what do you think I'd look like with bangs?"

So after discussing how I'd look for a little while I was just like

"Alright! I'm gonna do it!"

and Kelsi said "What? You're going to do it?"

"Yeah. Right now. If I don't do it now I'll chicken out."

So I grabbed a pair of scissors from her desk and ran to the sink to cut my bangs.

Kelsi oh-so graciously took pictures of my psychoticness.

Ready for this guys?

(Awkward close-up picture of my face)

Before:

And after:

 Yeah. It definitely wasn't professional grade work. It looks pretty good for using a pair of desk scissors, but I'm pretty sure that any hair-stylist in their right mind would slap me across the face because I didn't just wait and I did it myself. So that was my insane, totally out-of-character moment of the week, but you know what? I don't regret it. Sometimes it's nice to do something a little insane. I like it. And ya know? Kelsi commented later with something like "Tanisha I'm so glad that when you get psychotic urges it isn't to do anything like murder people. It's just to cut your hair".

She's so right. Psh. It could've been so much worse!

The Laundry Cart Incident

I have this roommate named Chandler... and she likes to fight. This is Chandler. Everyone say hi, but don't make any sudden movements or anything. You'll startle her and then she'll want to fight you.

I guess I get it. I mean she grew up with four brothers so... there's that. I guess that makes sense, but seriously sometimes she just wants to fight. And there's nothing you can do about it. You just kind of sit back and pray that someone will fight her before she comes to you... because she will be fought. If someone doesn't just fight her she'll come after someone who won't fight her back and just prey on them. I feel like a lot of the time this person is me. So anyways... recently Chandler just really wanted to fight me. So she was trying to beat me up, but I just wouldn't fight back. And I kind of slunk down to the ground, but she sat on top of me. So being the genius that I am.. I decided to make a diversion. So I was like 

"Hey Chandler why don't you go get some ropes or something and then you can tie me up like a cow!!!" 

This idea (for obvious reasons) excited her to the point where she ran away at full speed to get ropes, and in desperation, I flew into Michaela and Kelsi's room and shut the door. I then proceeded to hide in my previously chosen spot (see previous post I Will Survive Hey Hey) in case murderers or scary people... or roommates with a never ceasing desire to fight... get in the apartment. So behind Michaela's clothes I went!!

Then suddenly there was a scraping on the door. Chandler was trying to unlock the door... with knives. I really don't know how that works... but it was enough to make Michaela open the door for her. Unfortunately she knows of my hiding place, so the next thing I know I'm screaming at the top of my lungs as I'm being drug out of the closet by my feet. I can honestly say that for a second I thought that I might die. This was one of the most terrifying moments of my life.  Then came the guilt-tripping.

Chandler has this persuasive power where she says something and sometimes you're just like "Wow... why didn't I see the world this way? Yes. Yes!! We must do what Chandler says!" In this instance it was kind of like

Chandler: "But Tanisha you said I could tie you up, and I just really need to practice this skill."

Me: in my head (wow.. I am the worst person ever. Look what I've done. I lied! I said she could do it and I just totally lied! I mean I guess I could do it...What's the worst that could happen.) "Yeah Chandler totally let's do it!"

Hmmph. Let me show you the worst that could happen.

Mhmm

Yup.

That's me... in a laundry cart... tied up like a cow...

Now I hate to say this... but it got worse... much worse. But let's back up for a second and see how we got to this point... with me.. tied up like a cow... inside of a laundry cart.

I was getting tied up and thinking about what a strange and somewhat hilarious situation this is when this image popped into my mind of them dropping me off at my friend's doorstep who I'd had a date with the previous night (yeah believe it or not I get dates.... occasionally... okay not really but whatever). This image is hilarious because who wouldn't be scared out of their minds to find some girl you went on a date with tied up outside your door... yeah I don't know.. my mind is a weird place. So totally 100% hypothetically I made the mistake of saying "How funny would it be if you dropped me off tied up like this outside of Talmage's apartment hahaha" 

Yeah no. That was a bad idea. Suddenly it became Chandler's goal in life to make this happen. Somehow she used her persuasive powers to convince Michaela (who is usually very reasonable I might add) that this was a fantastic idea. So then they decided that in order to make this happen they needed the laundry cart so they could wheel me around instead of dragging my body around campus. So they did it. They put me in a laundry cart, put a blanket over my head so no one would see that I was a person, and snuck me out of the dorm in the direction of the guy's dorm.

So we get to the doors and it finally occurs to Chandler that... HMMMMM maybe this isn't such a great idea. Maybe this is just really creepy and weird. So then we decide to leave... But then I have a sudden realization. They struggled putting me into the cart... now I'm at an awkward angle and if they try to lift me out on their own, there's a 95% chance my face will meet the ground tonight. So, we realize, we have to enlist the help of boys after all. 

They sneak me through the building and up to Talmage's apartment. They hid me around the corner and Michaela (at the risk of making herself look slightly insane) took on the job of looking for help. 

She knocked and his roommate Fransisco answered.

Michaela: Hi.. is Talmage there.

Fransisco: No. Sorry

Michaela: Oh well.. I just had to ask him a question so... yeah. Thanks

Fransisco: Do you want me to take a message?

Michaela: Oh no.. no it's okay

Fransisco: Do you have his number

Michaela: Yeah..

Fransisco: .. Did you try texting him... or calling him?

Michaela: Yeah... he just didn't answer...

*awkward silence as Fransisco realizes Michaela is a desperate crazy girl trying to get a hold of his roommate*

Michaela: well thanks! Bye!

Awkward... So on to the next room!!! So next they hid me in the activity room and went to the room of some guys who have been our friends since the beginning of the year. They got Jordan and Connor (who likes my blog by the way. Yeah Connor you're awesome) to come assist with removing me from the cart. After standing around and evaluating the situation for several minutes, another one of their roommates came into the room and decided that this was the prime time to make my life even more miserable. So, he carted me down the hall to the staircase saying he was going to push me down the stairs. But that wasn't enough NOOO. Then, he pushed me into the elevator alone and pushed all the buttons so that I would just sit in there and wait until someone walked in.. and saw me awkwardly tied up... But thankfully Michaela intervened and between the both of us screaming like madwomen we managed to get me back into the activity room to be removed from my predicament. 

So then Connor, Jordan, Michaela, and Chandler all tried to remove me from the cart (unsuccessfully I might add). So Hunter was just like step aside everyone and removed me from the cart single-handedly. Then, after so graciously untying me, Jordan said they were going to head back now because there were girls in their apartment that they were hanging out with. Chandler must not have fully come to her senses at this point because she ran after Jordan screaming and asking who the girls were. Then, she once again used her persuasive powers to sic Michaela on Jordan. So they're both running down the hallway trying to get into their apartment and I'm just sitting there trying to regain feeling in my arms and thinking "wow... because we didn't look creepy or crazy enough... you have to run after them.... "

But I didn't have shoes and they had to push me in the laundry cart home... So...the only logical thing to do was follow them running at top speeds through the hall. I stood back and watched as they banged against the wall and tried to pry the door open screaming "WHO'S BETTER THAN US?!!! WHO ARE THEY?!" And finally (probably after realizing we'd never go away if they didn't give in) they let us into the room. And after Chandler introduced herself... we simply walked away. That was it. She said "Hi I'm Chandler. We're in your ward. I'll see you on Sunday!"... and we walked away. All that trouble... for that. Not only that, but we definitely didn't see them on Sunday. In fact.. they probably stopped going to church out of fear that they'd actually see us on Sunday. But hey.. what can you do?

When we got home Kelsi and Alex had come home from the store (they had missed this entire fiasco) and we explained what had happened. I guess from their end... they had come home and seen the signs of struggle and noticed that it was dead silent. So after searching the apartment for Michaela and my remains, they heard screaming in the hallway and ran out to see if it was us. It wasn't. So they got to experience an awkward conversation too...

The lesson we can learn from this college experience: How about never fight your roommates? Or never EVER suggest you let them tie you up? Or never describe to them the funny pictures that pop into your head? Actually... I think all of this could be solved with a big KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT.

The End.

P.s. apparently Jordan has been reading my blog longer than Connor or something so he's sad he didn't get a shoutout so here. Jordan's cool too because he also enjoys my blog.

Let's Embarrass My Brother because it's His Birthday C:

So today is my brother's birthday. He's 24... or 25... I can't really remember... I just know he's getting old. Anyways.. my brother is my best friend in the entire world. He's been there for me for so many things that I've had to go through. He used to sit outside my bedroom and talk to me FOR HOURS as I tried to go to sleep, and my parents used to yell at him to leave me alone. We argue absolutely everything even if we don't have to. We may totally agree about something, but debate it just to challenge the other person's opinion or argument. I miss that a lot. He's one of the funniest people I know. He's always cracking jokes and not the stupid kind either. He's genuinely clever and hilarious.He can also memorize entire movies after watching them once. So, whenever you say something, there's a chance he has a movie quote to go along with it. He's one of the smartest people I've met, and one of the sweetest and most generous. He's my best friend and I miss him so much, but I really want to embarrass him a little.

So let's tell some stories:

One time, my brother wanted advice on how to ask a girl on a date. Our conversation went something like this... 

Tyler: Hey, how would you want to be asked on a date?

Me: I don't know... like. "Hey do you wanna go on a date?" "sure!"

Tyler: No, like in a creative way. Wouldn't you want it to be creative?

Me: I really just don't care.

Tyler: Well.. what would you want to do on a date? Like a date that would stand out to you?

Me: Idk... something fun?

Tyler: but like what?!!!

Me: I don't know... I just really don't care!!!

Tyler: THIS IS WHY I CAN'T ASK YOU FOR ADVICE!!! YOU AREN'T NORMAL!!! YOU AREN'T A REAL GIRL!! YOU'RE MY SISTER!

(A few days later)

Tyler: Hey Tanisha, what would you want to do on a date?

Me: WHY DO YOU ASK IF I'M NOT EVEN A REAL GIRL!!!!

Yep. I'll never let him live that one down. What does that even mean? I'm not a real girl?!

Ah.. here's another one. My brother and I used to get in fights a lot. Not real fights... just play fights because we'd debate about almost anything (even if we agreed about it) and he'd outsmart me so I would resort to hitting him. Then we'd end up in some awkward fight where he's holding my wrists so I can't hit him and I'm trying to kick him in the shins. Well, one time this was happening, and we went to knee each other at the exact same time and ended up kneeing each other's knees. I can't even describe to you what it feels like to knee someone else in the knee. It's one of the most painful and shocking things that could ever happen to you. I just remember one minute we were fighting, we kneed each other, and then the next minute we were both on the ground half-crying, half-laughing. I think we were in that state for a good 10 or 15 minutes... Good times.

Now I have a ton more stories that I could tell, but I think I'll choose to publicly announce the times that he took advantage of my idolization of him (and also my gullible nature) when we were younger. Let's start with the Hello Kitty pen. One year for Christmas, I was trying to figure out what my brother had gotten me because he just kept telling me how it was the most incredible present ever and I was going to die. So one day, he finally broke down and told me he had gotten me a Hello Kitty pen. I remember in my head being like WHAAAAT?! THAT'S IT?!!! So I followed him around for the next several weeks asking him ALL THE TIME if that's what it was. I even trailed my mom like a puppy dog asking if it was true, and they both told me over and over again that that was it. So, on Christmas morning, imagine my surprise when I open my present and it isn't a Hello Kitty pen. I can't even remember what the real present was... the Hello Kitty pen is just scarred in my mind. Even now it's an on-going joke. Anytime someone asks what their present is, there's a 99% chance the answer will be a Hello Kitty pen.

Okay last, but certainly not least, in fact I think he'll be quite peeved I posted this on the internet. Muahaha. The time my brother taught me about elbow grease. So. I was about 6 years old, which would make him about 10, and our little sister (who was probably close to two at the time) had colored with chalk on the wall behind our bedroom door. So, naturally, it was Tyler's and my job to clean it up. This was surprisingly really hard for my little six-year-old arms, and despite how much we scrubbed, the chalk just wouldn't come off.  I'm sure I remember this a lot more dramatically than it really was because I was six, but whatever. So my mom comes into the room and tells us to use elbow grease. This was a foreign concept to me and so I asked my older, much wiser, brother what it was. He told me to rub my elbow against the wall, and the grease from your elbows would help break down the chalk and make it easier to wipe away. I was honestly amazed by elbow grease and the power of it, and we spent the rest of the time rubbing our elbows against the wall to get the chalk off. Now, this wouldn't be so bad, but I believed it wholeheartedly for WAY too long. One day. when I was twelve, my mom told me to clean the wall under the bar, but that I would have to use elbow-grease because it would be difficult. In my head I'm like, heck yeah no problem! So, I start rubbing my elbow against the wall and then wiping the nastiness away. About ten minutes pass and then I look up to see my mom staring at me from the doorway. 

"What in the world are you doing?"

"Using elbow grease?"

Yeah... after she got over laughing at me, she explained what elbow grease really was, and now I will never let my brother live it down.

Well that's it.. so Happy Birthday Forrest Tyler Ross. I love you, you half-girl, half-child.

I Will Survive Hey Hey

I had the awesome opportunity recently to discover which of my roommates I'm going to band together with in the situation where a murderer makes it into our apartment... or we're all in a horror film or something. See.. I already know that I'm going to be the friend that lives. I found out a couple weeks ago that Michaela's closet is the perfect place to hide. You just crawl into the back behind all of her clothes and BAM. No one will ever find you there. It's great.

But the rest of my roommates... that's kind of questionable you know what I mean? How do you really know who has the best survival skills? So, the other night, Kelsi and I were practicing for our ward's talent show. We're doing the bar scene from The Three Amigos with Steve Martin and Martin Short. If you haven't seen it, you should check it out. Here's the link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5T8FJ7TldU . But honestly, that's a whole other story in itself.

 So back on topic... we were practicing in our living room. It'd just gotten dark outside, and we hadn't shut the blinds yet. That means that anyone walking past our dorm could see directly into our room if they wanted. We were right in the middle of the dance number when I looked up and saw Derek emerge from the bushes outside our window and start creeping towards us. Michaela was sitting right in front of the window, facing away from it, and Kelsi was still just dancing right along... even though I'd gasped and said "Oh my gosh!" which is obviously an indicator that something's up. This didn't alert them... like at all. Whatever. I guess they just don't pay attention to me.....Dramatic sigh. So when the BANG came from Derek hitting the window, they both started screaming like they'd been shot. Kelsi spazzemed and collapsed on the floor convulsing and screaming, and after seeing that, Michaela dropped off the couch onto all fours, and started screeching and crawling as fast as she could for the door. Somehow during all the screaming and crawling, Michaela's gum fell out of her mouth and into her hair. I wish we had gotten a picture of this because the look on her face... priceless. So after they calmed down enough to assess the situation (and after I stopped laughing my butt off), we all spent the next twenty minutes picking gum out of Michaela's hair. But don't worry, we got it all out. 

It wasn't until about a half hour later that I realized that their reactions could really affect my life. In dangerous situations, Kelsi falls on the ground and convulses, no longer capable of any type of movement... but Michaela... she heads for the nearest exit and far away from windows. Then, I was thinking about earlier in the day... there was this really weird noise coming from the hallway and Kelsi just ran out and started searching for it. That, my friends, is how you get killed. Then, Alex started getting concerned for her and started to go after her but I was like... heck no! You two are those people in horror films that DIE! I'm staying right here.

 In conclusion... Kelsi, never my first choice. Alex... better than Kelsi, but I'd rather go alone. But Michaela... she can hide in the closet with me anytime!

Talmage is of the devil

I hate Talmage William Jones

My Emotional Control is Stored in My Plasma

So, as of late, I've been very busy and I just haven't had the chance to post any of my stories for the past several weeks. But don't worry... Today I bring to you a horror story from the week of Halloween. Donating plasma.

A little background on the situation: when I go to the doctor's office... I cry. No matter what happens, it's almost guaranteed that I will cry at least once during a trip to the doctors.  Senior year of high school I had to get my blood drawn a couple times, and the first time was a big mess. I get all anxious and scared and tense and then angry  and then... tears. So the second time that I went in to get blood drawn, my mom bribed my best friend to come with me so that I'd buck up a little bit.. and she also told me that if I was really good, we could go to Dairy Queen afterwards and she'd buy me ice cream. I found that day that if I had someone to talk to while the blood was being pumped that it really wasn't that bad and I didn't have to cry... so I just talk through it. And yes...I got ice cream.

Well, Kelsi and I decided we wanted to donate plasma for a little extra money. So, for like a week we drank nothing but water and had water chugging contests so that we would be plenty hydrated for donating plasma. Then, we made an appointment and went in. I don't really know why in the world I thought this was a good idea because me and getting blood drawn have not been good friends in the past, but for some reason I was just really excited for this. I think in my head it seemed like an adventure and I was being heroic and conquering my fears. My head was wrong.

The first thing on the agenda once you get there is a screening test. I walk into a little booth and a man makes me stand on a scale and takes my weight and blood pressure and all that fun stuff, and then explains that they have to take a small sample of my blood. I had no previous knowledge that this was going to happen. So I started to freak out a little bit and the tears started welling up. That's when the word barf started coming. It went something like...

"Wow.. a blast screen... interesting. Is this going to hurt? Worse than actually donating plasma itself.. wow. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Wooh. It's okay. We're fine. We're totally fine. Oh. Just so you know.. I might start crying. It's a definite possibility. Yeah, So there's that."

 and then when the prick finally came

 "Ow. oh. wooh. okay. Wow. That was fun. I only teared up a little. Wow. Go me. Hey that was awesome.". 

After he tested my blood (which not to brag or anything he said I have the most beautiful blood he'd seen in weeks... yeah that's right. I have beautiful blood) he said that I should go outside in the waiting room. I was starting to calm down, but the anxiety was still on the surface and suddenly...

 "Hey am I going to have to pee in a cup?"

After laughing off the initial shock of my question he explained that, yes, they would need a urine sample. Then after giving a little too much information on the state of my bladder and how I wasn't sure how possible a urine sample would be despite how much water I'd been drinking, I awkwardly left the room.

At this point, I was really proud of myself for making it this far, and then they called me into the physical portion. This wasn't really all that bad. There were a lot of awkward questions about whether I'd ever shot up with drugs, or been incarcerated in the last year... or prostituted since 1977, but after answering the long list of questions like THREE times, they seemed convinced that I had a pretty healthy and normal lifestyle. There was also the awkward urine sample part, which was a success by the way, but the only truly interesting thing that happened was when the doctor was checking my stomach. He asked if I had any abdominal pain, and began pushing down on my stomach. Then I had the mental image of someone having abdominal pain, so when he pushed on their stomach, they threw up on him. Naturally, this just led to a fit of giggles for me. After nervously laughing along for a few seconds and listening to my repeated giggly apologies, he asked what was so funny, and I said "What if I just threw up on you?". Yeah... that took him a little off guard to say the least. Finally, I answered the awkward list of questions one last time, and moved in to get my plasma taken.

My anxiety was pretty intense. I sat down on the chair and a guy named Matt came to prick my arm and set up all my tubes and what-not. He was actually really good about my uncontrollable talking, even though this time... it was a lot worse and there was a lot more anxiety in . 

"So yeah.. I've never done this before and I really hate drawing blood. Mhmm. So yeah. Ew gross is that the tube? I'm going to be able to watch my blood being drawn? That's so gross. Wow. Um.. Yea. So by the way I'm probably going to cry. But don't worry it's not because I hate you. Maybe some people would think it's because I hate them. But I don't. I just cry. One time my mom had to bribe me actually. Yeah. Did you know my roommate's over there? Her name is Kelsi. Oh you pricked her too. She's awesome. Isn't she awesome?Was she freaking out or is it just me? Oh that's awkward. Not that I'm really freaking out I'm fine. I'm really fine..... Wow. It's over. I didn't cry. I didn't cry at all. Wow. I didn't even cry!!" 

He asked me if I was going to be okay several more times before leaving me alone to ward off my urge to scream ... or sob, and the constant fear that I was going to lose my arm. Then after one grueling hour of trying to hold in all the emotions, they injected my remaining blood with saline back into my veins (which left me shivering for thirty minutes after it happened) and I was free to go home. 

After I left, I was fine for the entire drive home. I didn't feel faint or weird in any way... and then we made it home... and that's when the weird things started happening. We got out of the car and began walking towards our apartment and I could. not. stop. laughing. I was doubled over with fits of insane laughter for absolutely no reason. This didn't really concern me.. I just thought that maybe it was because I was exhausted. In fact when we got to the apartment, I just laid down on the counter. 

At this point, I still hadn't entirely gained the feeling back in my hand and Michaela commented that it looked swollen. This is when the emotional release came. All the anxiety and tension and holding in my emotions just exploded and I started sobbing about my hand being swollen and not wanting to die. Then, as everyone is trying to comfort me in confusion, I started to feel like I was going to pass out. I sat on the floor and then, next thing you know my roommates brought me pillows and a giant teddy bear to lay on. Within five minutes of laying on the floor I was asleep. Then I was awoken by Shalee (who had missed the sobbing fiasco) putting peanut butter on my nose. Immediately the sobbing resumed, and the great friends that I have... took pictures.

At first, I didn't really understand what had happened here about the emotional release. So my first theory was that all of my emotional control was stored in my plasma. Yeah... not all that accurate.. but it made sense to me at the time. Anyways... summary of the plasma event.. it was horrible and anxious and terrible, but I got thirty bucks. And even through all that emotional turmoil... it was totally worth it, and I'm definitely going to do it again. I'll keep you updated.

The Sacrifice Behind the 5000

Today I'm going to take a little more of a serious side with this post. I'm going to talk a little bit about what I've been learning in one of my classes here at BYU. Yeah.. I know.. totally exciting I bet you just can't wait. But I just want to take a second and share something I learned in New Testament that meant a lot to me this week.

I think most people know the story of the time Jesus fed the five thousand with five loaves of bread and two fishes. Most of the time, when I was told the story, we focused on the miracle that reflects the physical limitations Jesus was able to break. It's incredibly miraculous to be able to feed 5000 people with an amount of food that wouldn't normally even feed ten, but I think there's something there that is often overlooked that we discussed in New Testament last week that was really touching to me.

Right before Jesus teaches the 5000, he receives the news that John the Baptist was beheaded. Now it's always going to be big news that someone you know has been beheaded, but if you really think of it in context... Jesus was related to John. Jesus' mother Mary and John's mother Elisabeth were cousins, so John and Jesus were probably around 2nd cousins. Not only that, but John was also the one who was sent before Jesus to open the door for Him. I've got to assume that Jesus knew that once John died, He was soon to be after. So can you imagine receiving that kind of news? Someone you love and have a spiritual connection with, the person that made it possible for you to do your work and atone for the sins of mankind, was captured in prison... and brutally beheaded. That's a big deal. After receiving the news, Jesus' first reaction was to be alone. In Matthew 14: 12-14 it says, "And his disciples came, and took up the body, and buried it, and went and told Jesus. When Jesus heard of it, he departed thence by ship into a desert place apart: and when the people had heard thereof, they followed him on foot out of the cities. And Jesus went forth, and saw a great multitude, and was moved with great compassion toward them, and he healed their sick."

Isn't that amazing? He just found out that someone He loved was murdered and He is soon to be next and all He wants is to be alone, and then a huge multitude of 5000 people comes to Him, and He takes the time to heal them and teach them. That is incredible. That amount of compassion and service is something I will never be able to understand. I hardly ever take the time out of my day to call my parents because I have to study, and Jesus took the time to heal the sick of 5000 people and teach them.

Now I think there's something else that's interesting in here too. You don't get this insight in the gospel of Matthew, but you can find it in John. The loaves of bread and fishes that Jesus used to feed the 5000 didn't belong to Him or to His disciples. They weren't planning on teaching 5000 people when they arrived in the desert. They didn't even have food, so it can be assumed they weren't planning on staying in that place too long, but there was a boy there who had brought food enough for himself. John 6:9 "There is a lad here, which hath five barley loaves, and two small fishes: but what are they among so many?" One BOY out of 5000 people came prepared with food, and was asked to give it up to feed everyone there. Honestly, I don't know how I would feel about this if I was asked to do the same. I brought enough food for myself.. why should I be asked to feed everyone who didn't prepare themselves. And not only that, but how would my 5 loaves of bread and two fish feed 5000 people! But he did it. With incredible faith, he did it, and because of this, 5000 people were able to witness an incredible miracle and be fed.

How awesome is that. That faith and compassion and service! I want to be more like that. More giving of my time and my life and the things I have to give. There are so many times when I feel like I'm having a rough time, so I shouldn't have to give to another person, or I'm prepared and someone else is not and I feel prideful and feel like I shouldn't have to help them. Why am I like that? Well, it's definitely a pride thing, but it's something I can work on and improve, and there are great examples that have been laid out before me. If you want to read the full story, it can be found in Matthew 14 and John 6 as well as Mark 6 and Luke 9!

Occupy 1217

So a couple of days ago, Kelsi went on a road-trip and left us with a set of rules we had to follow while she was away. Aw yes... remember this?

Well, our natural reaction as the extremely rebellious youth we are (ha!) was to become enraged by these ridiculous constraints put on us. The one was trying to rule the many. Therefore, the one must be overthrown. Occupy 1217 was born. Now.. if you're easily offended you may want to turn back and stop reading here.. because I know what we did was outrageous... maybe even extreme. We had to dig deep into the most defiant, hardcore parts of our souls to find a solution that would show the dictator exactly how we felt. So, we decided... we needed to break each and every single rule. And we did... and sent the photographic evidence to Kelsi herself. I now give you...

Rule 1: There is to be no laughter, tomfoolery or general jovial behavior at anytime.

If you're offended.. please... turn back now. It only gets worse.

Rule 2: All proceedings requiring a chief justice (including marriage ceremonies, court hearings, etc) are indefinitely postponed.

Rule 3: No playing with knives (that means you, Alex)

 Rule 4: Feed the Shalee at least once a day

Rule 5: Alex cannot watch Netflix past 2, Michaela must be woken up if her alarm goes longer than 20 minutes. Tanisha's hair must be brushed and/ or stroked twice daily. Chandler is not allowed around fire in Kelsi's absence

Rule 6: Derek is allowed 3 supervised visits with Bear. (SUPERVISED).

 Rule 7: Promote Peace and harmony...

And go easy on the toilet paper... Remember. Sparing is caring!

Rule 8: And last.. WRING OUT THE SPONGE!! like I've been TELLING you.

I'm not entirely sure if we had the desired effect. I think laughing hysterically with your aunt in the middle of a play doesn't really make you want to be less of a dictator... Oh well. It was worth a shot!

Love you Kels!!!

It's a BEAUTIFUL Thursday

GOOOOOOOD MORNING TANISHA!!

It's a beautiful Thursday morning in Provo, Utah. It's a brisk 34 degrees, the sun is shining, the leaves are changing, and.. oh yeah.. you're running late for your 9:30 class... because you passed out on the couch AGAIN last night without an alarm set. Oh and let's see... where else did you fall asleep last night? How about when you were supposed to be taking a quiz with Derek for physical science but you fell asleep, and probably drooled all over the table, instead. In fact, it's very possible you just sleep-walked the entire way home from work last night and didn't wake up until 9:10 this morning only to find that you have no clue where you've placed your homework because you weren't entirely conscious when you came home last night. 

Yep. That's how I spent my morning. I woke up to my lovely roommate Alex trying to shake me awake (which apparently she'd been doing forever because I sleep heavier than most people under amnesia) at 9:10 this morning. Then, upon discovering I had to leave for class in a mere ten minutes, I shoved on the first shoes I found, brushed my teeth and (hoping I didn't look nearly as horrible as I felt) began the search for my laptop that I'd half-asleep dropped in my laundry cart in the hall. Yes I still haven't put away my laundry... I should probably be doing that. Whatever. So after finally finding my laptop, I grabbed a granola bar and began walking to class.

As I was walking, I was just marveling at how awesome I was because I got ready in ten minutes and I was already awake enough to be speed-walking to class. Then, I noticed that people walking at a leisurely pace were passing me... awkward right? I guess I was a bit more tired than I'd thought. However, I still managed to get to class on time, but I spent the first hour of class staring in confusion at my teacher and then laughing at inappropriate moments (which incredibly seemed to sync up at all the times when people were very quiet around me). 

Overall, it was a pretty interesting morning. Sadly, I have way too many of these. However, there was one bright and happy moment when I got home from class and realized that we had a pan of brownies on the stove. Nothing says breakfast like three or four caramel brownies. Then, it was brought to my attention that before leaving on her road-trip this morning, Kelsi left us a note on the fridge.

To those of you who cannot read this microscopic print it says:

To my Lovelies:

RULES for when Kelsi's Gone:

1. There is to be no laughter, tomfoolery or general jovial behavior at anytime.

2. All proceedings requiring a chief justice (including marriage ceremonies, court hearings, etc) are indefinitely postponed.

3. No playing with knives (that means you, Alex)

4. Feed the Shalee at least once a day

5. Alex cannot watch Netflix past 2. Michaela must be woken up if her alarm goes longer than 20 minutes. Tanisha's hair must be brushed and/or stroked twice daily. Chandler is not allowed around fire in Kelsi's absence.

6. Derek is allowed 3 supervised visits with Bear. (SUPERVISED)

7. Promote peace + harmony and go easy on the toilet paper... remember. Sparing is caring!

and last.. 

8. WRING OUT THE SPONGE!!! like I've been TELLING you.

LOVE YOU!

I guess the morning wasn't all that bad after all

The Science of Magnetic Attractions in Roommates

Today is Wednesday.... which is basically the busiest day of my entire life each and every week. I wake up at 8:30 to get ready for New Testament at 9, then Book of Mormon at 10, then I come home for an hour and eat so I can leave for Physical Science at 12, then go to work from 1-3:45, then a Physical Science lab from 4-5, then I eat from 5-5:50 to head back to work from 6:00 until close... then I come home.. and do homework or ya know.. maybe put away my laundry that's been sitting in a cart in the hallway for like two days now... probably not... whatever. But seriously. Exhausting. Every Wednesday I come home dead and it makes me so envious of people who don't have to work while going to school. But hey I'm getting more life experience right? ... right? yeah? Someone please tell me that's a thing because I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this....

But anyways. I have these two roommates named Kelsi and Michaela. Here's all three of us looking out the window at random people who are unlucky enough to pass by. Totally normal.

This is Kelsi so kindly allowing me to sleep on her one Sunday before we went to dinner at some boys' apartment. (They made us spaghetti and one of them played the accordion. yeah be jealous)

And here's Michaela and I... and this kid named Hunter but ignore him he doesn't have to do with the story at all. 

So anyways... Michaela and I have been friends since our freshman year of high school and Kelsi is Michaela's roommate in our dorm. Michaela and I are really weird and fortunately so is Kelsi. We all get along very well and we've discovered that there's this magnetic attraction between the three of us. If any of us are in a room together there is a 99.9% there will be nothing done in that room. Well, nothing productive that is. We come up with a lot of weird songs and theories and things, but nothing like homework ever gets done. Like at all. 

So, this magnetic force I was talking about.. basically, if we're in a room together, I can't leave. It doesn't matter that I know that it's three in the morning and I have to wake up for a 9 a.m. tomorrow, or that they're trying to read scriptures or do something productive with their lives like, I don't know, sleep for once... I cannot leave. At all. We just sit there and talk about who knows what. Yesterday it got so bad that Michaela had to drag me out of Kelsi's bed kicking and screaming, and then I still didn't even leave the room. I just laid on the floor and kept talking. I'm surprised that they haven't murdered me in my sleep by now (because let's be honest I'd just sleep through it). I think they keep me around for my butt. That was actually the topic of last night's discussion. 

In fact I think the exact quote was, "Tanisha's butt looks ridiculous in those pants... and by ridiculous I mean ridiculously hott!" 

Well... who would've known!! I guess I'll never wear those pants again, and if I continue to stay in their room until 3 a.m. I guess I'll never get any homework done either. And then I won't have to worry about going to school and working and crazy Wednesdays because I'll have failed out of college. That escalated quickly.... Anyways... after serious research I've developed a formula that accounts for the magnetic attraction. The variable K being Kelsi, M being Michaela, T being Tanisha, and h being the number of hours spent together with variable N being productivity.

(KMT)h=-n

Yeah I don't get it either. No matter what numbers you use the productivity always turns out to be in the negative. Crazy science.

But here's my advice: if you ever have a roommate (or even worse 2) that you love with all your heart and you just can't leave the room when they're around... RUN. RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION. LOCK YOURSELF IN THE CLOSET AND PUT IN HEADPHONES AND GET. YOUR. STUFF. DONE. Don't be me. Don't fail out of college. Listen to the equations. You're better than this and you can succeed! Who needs friends anyways?